Lost and Found

Outback Steakhouse. Ah, found it! I switched lanes quickly and smiled victoriously. One of our sisters taught at Nolan Catholic High and her students had given our community a $50 gift certificate to the restaurant. We opted to pick up some steaks, shrimp, mashed potatoes and skip cooking for the night.

Oooooops, my joy would have to wait three more U-turns. Although the restaurant's reddish brown sign stood high and visible, its location at the junction of two highways and indecipherable street dividers (strips of cement about 5 inches high use to divide the road) made it very confusing. I finally pulled into the parking lot and came in to pick up our on-line order. The steak was fairly decent although $8 for six Gold Coast fried shrimp was outrageous.

As we ate dinner, amidst stories of other "being lost" moments, my mind turned to a rose petal. It was once white and faintly wet with dew. Now, it lays in an inner compartment of my purse, accompanying me on my travels. I received it the past summer.

The past year was filled with an inner indescribable tension. It was not the kind that gave forth easy-to-understand questions. My religious sisters were pleasant. A friend sent me my portrait, hand-drawn from memory. My students became more irresistibly adorable each day. Yet, I was in the winter of my soul. It was June.

As usual, I came home to see my family in California. Jokes, stories, road trips. I am blessed with a full-of-life family. Then, my mom told me.

"Vân, you know how I told you I went to see that Filipino man the other month?" she started.
"Yes... back in March?" I said.
"I asked a rose petal for you too!" she murmured delightfully.
"How did you do that?"
"Well, he normally only does it for those attending his talk, but I took a photo of you along. When it was my turn, I raised your photo up and said 'My daughter. A nun.' He smiled and pressed the rose petal against your photo." She handed me the rose petal, dried and pressed between two sheets of paper.

"Dad and I thinks it is a picture of a chalice," Mom continued.
"Mom... I don't think so, although it does look like a cup of some sorts though."
"Dad has a picture of St. Peter and I have a picture of the Immaculate Heart of Mary."
"Mom, come to the computer with me. I think it is the papal coat of arms. I can see the two keys and the tiara."
"A what?"
"You know, Mom, each pope has some sort of symbol to represent how he will lead the church. Let's google this... hmmmm.... mom, you see the keys?" At this point, my dad joined us at the computer also.

"That's odd. My rose petal is not Benedict XVI's coat of arms," I said. "It's John Paul II's! Here is the cross on the shield and the faint outline of the M." While my parents compared the computer image with the one imprinted on the rose petal, my mind raced furiously.

A few months ago, Mom had gone to a talk by Carmelo Cortez. He had supposedly undergone a deep spiritual conversion and Mary has appeared to him. After his talks, many would ask him to touch rose petals they have brought. The rose petal is then dried between two sheets of paper or a napkin and different religious images appears.

When I first heard the story, I shrugged it off as sentimental and silly. I knew my mom was deeply devout and I would trust her prayers more than my own. However, she did not have much religious training and I figured this Carmelo Cortez guy was a fraud.

But JPII's coat of arms shook me up. His coat of arms symbolized his total dedication to Mary and his motto was "Totus Tuus" which meant "All Yours." JPII had an intimate love for Mary and he wanted to say, "All I am, all the people, places, and activities of my life, it is yours Mary."

And "Totus Tuus" was also my motto. And I was holding a rose petal with this coat of arms imprinted on it. How would this Cortez guy have known that?

Perhaps this was a magician's trick. Worse, the devil's antics.
Days later, I yielded results. (You can read the evidence below)
In that moment, springtime embraced my soul.

I knew I was not alone.
I knew my Mother was with me.
I knew I would be okay.

I was lost.
Not geographically.
Not spiritually.
I just had a lot of hard questions.

I was found.
Questions remained.
Work awaited me.
My hope is Totus Tuus,
All yours, Mary.



****

Revelations, apparitions, and activities such as Carmelo Cortez experienced are still under consideration. Since they are not recognized and approved by Rome (such as Fatima, Lourdes, Akito, LaVang, etc has been approved), they may still be false. However, when the bishop of the diocese does not silence it, it is a good sign that these activities are coming from God. As with all supernatural activities, we need to wait for the test of time and the approval of Rome.

I have written this post to share my faith. It is not to give support to Carmelo Cortez's experiences or activities.

According to the University of Dayton, the top renowned university in the US dedicated to Mariology and Marian apparitions, Cortez was listed as "No decision," which means he may be authentic. This same page has the apparitions that are approved by Rome. http://campus.udayton.edu/mary//resources/aprtable.html

Carmelo Cortez is from the Diocese of Malolos in the Philippines. All his travels abroad are done through the Bishop. This means the local bishop has knowledge of Cortez' actions. Cortez is living the virtue of obedience. This is an indicator that the devil may not be involved since obedience is not one of the devil's virtue. http://megshrine.com/Contact_Us.html

A diocesan shrine has been built as a result of his encounter with Mary. It is not easy to convince a bishop to build a church. It takes time, money, and faith. Otherwise, the world would laugh at the man who believed the sky is falling. The shrine's name is Our Mother of the Eucharist and Grace. http://megshrine.com/Home_Page.html

Explanation of the Papal Coat of Arms
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/elezione/stemma-benedict-xvi_en.html

JPII's Coat of Arms & Benedict's Coat of Arms
http://www.vatican.va/news_services/press/documentazione/documents/sp_ss_scv/insigne/sp_ss_scv_stemma-bandiera-sigillo_en.html#Coat_of_Arms_of_His_Holiness_Benedictus_XVI

Rose Photo is from http://wallpaper-s.org/45__White_Rose.htm